


Skyscrapers & Stardust

by explodingnebulae



Series: Doctor Too [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 02:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingnebulae/pseuds/explodingnebulae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Tyler's emotions are in flux as she tries to adjust to this new form of her Doctor. Meanwhile, he has to adjust to domestic life whilst waiting for the moment he and Rose can travel through time and space yet again. (This is the first, and considerably long, part of a series that follows the events, adventure, and hardships of the Tenth Doctor's duplicate and Rose Tyler.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Goodbye & Salutations

It felt strange. It felt terribly foreign and extraordinarily familiar. To her surprise her lips moved so desperately, hungrily, along the mouth of this half human Doctor. She knew that his soul possessed the same flame, that his heart—though solitary in his chest—possessed the same feelings, and that his mind still possessed the same memories. She knew all of this, yet she could not shake the incongruous sensation that flooded her veins and seized control of her mind. He tasted as the Doctor was supposed to taste, kissed her as the Doctor would kiss her, breathed against her cheeks as the Doctor would…

And then her eyes opened for just a moment, to steal that little glance at the passion displayed on his face as he kissed her…In this furtive glimpse, she caught sight of something she never wanted to see or hear.

He was leaving her on the beach for a second time and this time he would never return. In her mind, she was screaming—begging for him not to leave her, but no sound came out. She felt like she was choking and breaking, but her demolition was contained. Rose was running as the TARDIS made its final farewell. The sound was sickeningly despondent and she froze as it began to flicker out. She imagined the man inside.

The Time Lord she fell in love with. The Doctor. A man in an outdated police box, who danced around space and time trying to help wherever he went, was deliberately leaving her in an alternate universe. She could see him standing at the centre of the TARDIS; pulling a lever, pounding a panel with a mallet, twisting a knob, fueling his spaceship…and yet his face was not as it should be. It was not the same mad, glorious expression that it was possessed. The look that made people question his sanity and drown in his joyous delirium was not present. She knew it was not even if she could not see it. Rose Tyler knew the Doctor far too well to think that he could be remotely blithe.

Then _his_ fingers were twining with hers with all the familiarity and ease the Doctor could possess. He held her hand as if his arms were wrapped securely around her form, caressing her bemused and hurt soul by holding her steady. Hers coalesced with his, clutching to him as if he would fade as well. She kept her fears from her features as she turned to him.

He was looking into her and allowing his eyes to speak for him as he often did with her in times words were not appropriate or enough. Within those intense chocolate eyes rested the same wisdom that had always entranced her so completely. Those impossibly old eyes were in this impossibly new body with only one heart. Half human, able to age, able to die…

Rose shook the thought from her mind and looked away from him. He was who the Doctor said he was, an almost carbon-copy of himself, and Rose felt it in the way his hand held hers. She looked to them then and realized she was gripping his hand so hard that her knuckles were turning ivory. Rose returned her gaze to his features to see the ghost of a sorrowful smile whispering along the edges of his lips.

"We should, uh, we should get back," said Rose as she dropped his hand. She moved quickly to Jackie, thought of crying, decided it was no good, and rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.

Rose could feel him behind her, beside her, all around but consciously knew he had not moved from where she left him. She had him and yet she had nothing. He had substance, mind, memory… He had every fundamental aspect of the Doctor, save the sonic screwdriver and TARDIS. He was him, but Rose could not help feeling like she was betraying the Doctor by taking his half-human self. It was then that she thought, for the first time, that he was the one who walked away.

The Time Lord was the one who dared not speak those three simple words she so desperately needed to hear. _He_ said them to her and he meant them with every phoneme. It was his voice. They were his lips. It was his kiss. It was him. He was the man she loved, wasn’t he? Or was it the man who left her with his spare?

"I phoned Pete. Said he’d be here in an hour or two," Jackie commented and wrapped her arms around Rose for a moment in an attempt to comfort her. "Go talk to him, sweetheart. This isn’t something that silence is going to help."

Not wanting to argue with her mother, not to mention lacking the energy to do so, Rose wiped the tears that had formed and obeyed Jackie. She didn’t know why, but she could hardly feel her legs as she moved, and her feet were as heavy as stone.

The breeze shifted and Rose caught the Doctor’s scent riding on its wings. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of it and expected it to fade. But it didn’t. The Doctor’s distinct redolence remained even as she opened her eyes. He came into focus then and was looking at her with a soft smile. She returned it in part before walking to the shoreline.  
He followed her without so much as a word and the two sat side by side on the sand as the foamy water lapped at the shoreline. The pair stared at it for a few moments longer, both trying to figure out what to say. Finally, he managed something and she listened.

"It’s weird—only having one heart," he uttered. "I’ve always wondered how you humans managed with it being so quiet and roomy inside. It’s going to take some getting used to." He looked to Rose and found that there was a hollow smile upon her lips. "Yours was never quiet. Not for one solitary moment…" he thought for a second. "Well, maybe that one time you were turned to stone. Though, I’m not sure that can be counted, considering…That’s what makes you brilliant, Rose Tyler."

Rose remained silent as she reflected upon her time in Rome with the Doctor. She thought of how he had turned to stone, how relieved she felt as his lips pressed against hers, how they managed to save the world from imploding in upon itself from a giant paradox, and how he had carved her into stone in perfect detail from memory. She looked over at him to see his eyes trained on her, apparently recalling the same events.

And then, as if the silence had never existed between them, he hopped up and pulled something out of his trouser pocket. “Can’t let this sit around for too long if we’re to grow a TARDIS,” he exclaimed and began scurrying around the beach.

Rose watched with confusion as the Doctor resumed his previous disposition of being a borderline nutter. He prattled on as he held the strange looking object in different angles along the beach and along the hills above them. “Don’t want it too close to shore, that would result in a very waterlogged machine and would take forever to dry out. Though an aquarium in the TARDIS would be interesting. No, no, no. The library would be much too…”

She stood and moved behind him. This man was not a replica. No one could feign stepping this close to the edge of insanity and dance with such haphazard grace. This was the Doctor in all his one-hearted, half human glory.

"Well don’t just stand there, Rose. This is _our_ TARDIS. Where do you think the nursery should be?”

"Hold on," Rose said and placed her hand on his shoulder. "What is that, exactly?" she asked as she motioned to the foreign thing in his hands.

"It’s part of the TARDIS. Which means we can grow a brand new one in a matter of months, thanks to Donna’s brilliant half-Time Lord mind, and be on our merry way through time and space. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, protectors of the parallel universe."

"Where did you get it?" Rose inquired, hardly believing what she was hearing.

"You didn’t think that I, er, he, would let himself, being me, go without the TARDIS, did you?" he exclaimed with a wide smile. 

The look of confusion must have been blatant on her features because his impossibly large grin expanded and the corners of his eyes crinkled. She worked everything out in her mind as he watched with great interest. Rose put every piece together and nearly heard the click in her head as everything fell into place.

The full-blooded Time Lord had given his half-human self a piece of the TARDIS that could apparently be planted like a seed and grown into a time-travelling machine.

Rose tried to reply, her mouth opening and shutting, wavering between speaking and thinking. In the end, she simply said, “Okay.”

She didn’t want to answer his question, whether it was rhetorical or not. If she had, it would have meant acknowledging the truth that the Time Lord had had no intention of taking her with him in the first place. And that was an unacceptable thought.

"So, what d’you say?" he asked as his grin tamed. "You, me, the TARDIS, all of time and space in an entirely new universe at the tips of our fingers?"

Rose gave a genuine smile, even if it was only for a moment. She still could not expel the conflict within her. The gnawing feeling that she had been handed second prize for everything that she had done just to get back to him began to eat away at her.

"Don’t you think we should get back first? Plant it somewhere closer to home?" questioned Rose as she tried to keep her voice steady.

Something in her shifted in such a short interim again and she was not sure if she could keep herself steady. She felt as if she were standing too close and too far away from him, but Rose was not sure how to remedy her predicament.

"Or we could do that. I’d imagine that there’s this wood just outside Cadnam. Perfect place for the TARDIS to grow without intrusions or disruptions," he commented before placing the part back into the pocket of his slacks.

Rose watched as he looked out over the shore. He was squinting in the light, his expression changing, every trace of the gaiety mere moments before slipping away with the receding tide. “That’s if you want to come with me,” he breathed. “I only have one life, Rose. One. I can’t change my face to cheat death. This is it. This is all I’ve got. This,” he said as his hand patted the piece of the TARDIS, “and you, if you want?”

The question was something that Rose did not think about before answering. Her hand found his without her mind knowing and their fingers twined. She felt his grip tighten between her digits and against her palm.

"Yeah." It was all she could say for now.

Rose was somewhat reluctant in participating in the small talk that followed…at least in the beginning. He would mention one of their adventures together and Rose would reply with a lackadaisical response. They had returned to sitting somewhere between New Earth and Charles Dickens. But as the small comments and attempts continued, with rises and falls in his natural speech patterns, Rose felt more at ease with talking to him.

It felt natural. It felt damnably natural. Rose Tyler was slipping into a state of comfort as their conversation continued and even managed a genuine laugh throughout it. The time passed quickly and before either of them knew it, Jackie was harping on them to get a move on. Pete would be arriving any minute to drive them to the airport, where Pete’s private jet would be waiting.

In the car, Jackie sat in the front seat beside Pete while Rose and the Doctor’s duplicate took the back. Jackie and Pete became enveloped in conversation with extraordinary haste, speaking of their son, Tony. Rose took the opportunity to just look out the window and try to think of what life would be like now. He was sitting so close to her in the vehicle that her focus was often dismantled. There was a small part of her that wanted to ask him if he would be kind enough to remove his distracting scent from the vehicle, but thought better of it, as it was impossible.

There was one decision that Rose had made as they had walked to the road, hand in hand. He was going to stay with her in her flat in London. For some reason, she could not permit herself to let him alone. The thought was simply abhorrent to her.

And, as if he were reading her mind, the half Time Lord cleared his throat, drawing Rose’s attention to him.

"I figure I’m going to have to get a job and a flat?" His voice was terribly awkward.

Rose gave a sympathetic smile and squeezed his hand that was resting on the seat between them. “You can stay with me. I have a place in the city and we can get you a job working for Pete. If that’s all right?” She directed the question at both men in the car.

"That’s fine by me. Jackie already told me what happened. We can start you up at the TDD in a week or so. Figure that would give you time to get settled in and get your identification and certificates," said Pete, glancing back quickly to look at the Doctor. "Oh, uh, Rose can explain what the TDD is when we get home."

"I’m not going to lie and say I’m not grateful, but I’m afraid I will only occupy a temporary position," replied the Doctor with a smile and a quick glance at Rose. "I’m planting a TARDIS when we set foot on English soil. I have to disengage certain components of it and expose others. There’s a lot of jigge—"

"What do you mean, ‘planting a TARDIS’?" Jackie interjected with disbelief. "I thought it was a machine? Well in any event, you can’t just expect me to just let you waltz off through time and space with my only daughter? You’re part human now, Doctor. How do I know she’s safe?"

"Mum," Rose began, her voice slightly tense. "I chose to go with him. We already talked a bit about this on the beach. This is my choice, alright? Besides, you have Tony to look after now."

Jackie gave a sigh and grumbled something that resembled an apology and a short you’re-not-a-child-anymore-and-you-can-take-care-of-yourself speech. However, Rose’s mind was on other things and did not think of a response to her mother.

Silence fell in the vehicle save small talk here and there. Rose and the Doctor alternated their glances from each other to the scenery surrounding them. When they reached the airport, Pete ushered them in the direction of his private craft where they boarded and were lfited into the air.

Rose kept eyeing him, watching him as he looked out the window. Occasionally he would mutter how slow human transportation was under his breath and shuffle in his seat as though he were anticipating the plane to speed up. And occasionally, his eyes would flicker over to Rose and a soft smile would work its way onto his lips.

"How long will it take the TARDIS to grow?" Rose asked once the silence became too unwonted.

"Anywhere from eight months to a year. Though, I anticipate, depending on the rain, it will be formed and fully functional in nine months, seventeen days, and…hmm…six hours, give or take a couple of minutes," he explained with a smug grin. "Then we can be back in the seventieth century or the very first."

She could tell what he was thinking by his smile. He knew he was clever. Even in this half-human form, he knew that he was more brilliant than anyone and everyone around him; and he was going to show it off, especially to her.

Rose gave a chuckle and their hands found each other. “Give or take a couple of minutes? Okay,” she laughed. “That gives you nine months to settle down to domestic life. How are you going to stand it?” she jabbed back with an equally satisfied smirk.

“I’ll have you to keep me busy. You did go on, quite a bit might I add, about the places you wanted to show me on Earth. The shops with the best chips and the others with suits that would make me look, and I quote, ‘absolutely ravishing’. Nine months, seventeen days, five hours and fifty-eight minutes with Rose Marion Tyler in her flat with chips and shopping. That doesn’t sound so bad,” he noted in that quick, idiosyncratic way of his.

Rose fought back the heat that threatened to creep upon her cheeks but made no attempt to hide the smile that spread across her face. “Lucky for you, those shops still exist here,” she chuckled. “Which reminds me. There’s this cafe not too far from my flat that makes the best coffee.”

"Case and point. Besides, there are some places around this planet today, if I’m correct in my thinking of its history based on what I’ve seen, I would really love to take you."

The spark in his earth colored eyes was returning, blazing within him at the thought of adventure. Rose knew of his constant desire to be on the move and knew that they would hardly be spending any time in the flat. After two years without him, she felt the itch return within her person as well. This was a different universe with different histories and futures. The Doctor knew of the past to a degree, as this Earth was similar in several ways to their old universe, but the future was anyone’s guess. If Rose were to trust anyone’s best assumption, it would be his.

The world around Rose slowly shifted into place as her mind began to settle on the fact that the man she was talking to was in fact the same man she met four years ago. As she let herself relax, they fell into comfortable conversation about what had happened and what would happen, carefully avoiding the sensitive subjects, on the way back to England.


	2. Foreign Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and the Doctor have arrived at her flat and touch on various topics, including two years without each other. The Doctor has also found a way to minimize the time needed to grow the TARDIS and is presented with a question to which he hasn't given thought.

"So, what is the TDD, exactly? I'm usually brilliant with acronyms and I've worked out the last two as 'Defense Division', but the first is giving me some trouble. I have an idea, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions. If it what I think it is, I'm not entirely certain that I want to work for it," said the Doctor as Rose handed him a cup of tea. 

They had eaten at Pete and Jackie's estate after landing. The Doctor had been completely famished, as this was his first time eating after sprouting from a hand, and ate multiple servings of what had been given to him. He had managed between bites to make a comment on how he knew that Jackie had not cooked the meal. This raised a chuckle out of Rose and Pete and a grumble from Jackie. 

He had also had the privilege of meeting the young Tony. The Doctor was not aware that Rose had been paying attention to the two of them until he stood from his crouching position, speaking to the child as if they were equals, which was admittedly hard to do, considering the child's extremely young age. It had been quite a while since he had spoken to a child in a situation that did not border certain death. 

The rest of dinner had been surrounded by the Doctor telling Tony tales that even Rose had no knowledge of but knew them to be true. All of the adults were certain that Tony could only grasp the basic concepts of what the Doctor was recounting, but he watched with wide and eager eyes. When it was time to leave, Tony made a fuss and demanded that the Doctor stay longer. "Doctor here," had been his exact words, but the two left regardless. And there had been a perpetual awkward silence until he raised the inquiry concerning his position.

"It's Torchwood. But don't worry. This company is entirely different than the one we encountered back h- in the other universe. Even that Torchwood set itself straight with Jack at the head of it," Rose replied casually as she tucked her feet under her bum on the sofa. 

The Doctor shifted in seat after he set his cup on the end table. She could see that the thought of an actual job was far from appealing to him. She knew that before he ever split in two. That was who the Doctor was, a time traveler in a blue box without an income. But she couldn't think of that right now. There were more pressing matters at the moment.

"Like you said in the car, it's only temporary. We'll go tomorrow to plant the TARDIS, yeah?" Rose took a breath as she tried to come up with a way to word her next statement. "For now, we need to figure out where you're going to sleep and what you're going to sleep in..."

"Oh right, sleep," he replied awkwardly. "I guess I have to do that now, don't I? That's...not entirely new. I could sleep on the sofa, not sure in what, though." 

For some reason, the Doctor's solution, though logical, did not strike her fancy. She did have a solution for his clothing crisis, however, and set her cup of tea down and ran into her bedroom. Rose rummaged through her clothing until she found a pair of grey drawstring sweatpants. 

"They might be a bit short, but I feel like they'll fit," she noted as she handed him the bottoms. 

He took them from her with an utterance of gratitude. After taking another sip of his tea, the Doctor rose from his chair and looked about confusedly. "Uh, where should I change?"

"Bedroom's down that hall," she instructed and pointed behind her, "to your left and the toilet's to your right."

"Right. Thanks," he commented before slipping from her sight. 

Rose thought for the few moments he was gone. Her mind travelled to several different places, but settled on her immediate situation. The Doctor, or a version of him, was in her flat. He was with her after two years, not just for a few moments but, quite possibly, indefinitely. He had said those three little words to her, kissed her the only way someone could kiss the person he loves after not seeing them for well over seven hundred thirty days, and had not disappeared. This half-human accident that saved her and his full-blood counterpart was still with her. It all seemed like a dream and Rose began to feel the situation settle in her mind. 

The Doctor was in another universe. The place of her birth, the place of her father's death, the place they met. He was still in that realm, protecting it with all the brilliance he possessed. Yet, the same man, the same mind, the same soul, was in her flat, changing into her clothing just so he had something to sleep in. He had a piece of the TARDIS, he had his voice, his mannerisms, his hair, and his eyes. He grew from a piece of the Doctor, a hand that she had once held. It was his hand. Logically, with every deduction that could be made, he was the Doctor. However, something in Rose--that small portion of her heart that felt so pained and derelict--refused to believe it. This little piece was enough to keep her from being comfortable. She grabbed her mug and took another sip of her tea as her heart and mind came to a stalemate for the time being. 

"You know, I used to wear a stock of celery as decoration on my outfit. I wore every color at once. I've had suit after suit. Always dressed from head to toe, completely covered. But this is the first time I can say that I've worn the jogging bottoms of my companion for the sake of wearing them," he dictated matter-of-factly as he entered the room and pulled Rose from her thoughts. 

As her eyes settled on him, it was all she could do to stop her jaw from dropping. He was wearing her bottoms...and nothing else. The Doctor had the waistband curled so it would hug his hips a bit more comfortably. However, they did not cover the entirety of said hips and they peeked out above the grey cloth surrounding them. His abdomen had its own set of attractions, for as lanky as he was. Her eyes travelled up his form to see the bit of chest hair she never knew existed until now and nibbled on the inside nub of her cheek.

"Not that I'm complaining," he added quickly when her gaze finally met his after scrutinizing his form. "Though, I am a bit miffed about the lack of fruit in the pockets. Howard would have had the forethought, " chuckled the Doctor as he took his seat. "Thank you."

Rose gently raked her bottom lip with her teeth in an attempt to pacify the heated stir that formed within her. "Yeah, anytime," she replied a bit mindlessly. 

She shifted on the sofa and focused on her tea. Rose watched as the steam slowly dissolved into the air around her. She felt his gaze scrutinizing her, watching her as she took a drink of her tea, studying her as she deliberately avoided his eyes. Rose felt as though she couldn’t look at him. The heat that had coursed through her, that had excited and numbed her nerves, was far from proper. Even if this wasn’t her first time having that sensation around him, Rose felt awkward considering the events of the day.

“Are you all right, Rose?” his voice, with all the sweetness of honey, entreated into her mind. Her attention turned to him, against her mind’s wishes, and tried to focus on his carefully constructed bed hair and wise eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...odd,” came her reply. Though it had not been the subject immediately on her mind, what she was saying was in fact true. “Twenty-four hours ago I was jumping through the Void just to stop the universe from falling apart and to get you back and now we’re sitting here in my flat having tea and talking about clothing and sleep and you wearing my jogging bottoms to bed like nothing's happened. You split into two people! _How can I be sure you're even you?_ "

Rose felt the burn of tears rising in her eyes as what had been buried over the past few hours exploded to the surface. She had not intended for this to happen. However, now that it was in motion, there was nothing she could do to stop it from running its course. Her mind switched off to how devastatingly attractive he looked in nothing but baggy sweatpants and went into emotional overdrive. 

Two years of waiting, wanting, craving for him came to her with such severity that Rose hardly noticed his hands upon hers. She had not realized that he had moved until he was already kneeling before her. Rose looked into his eyes. They were strangely calm, as they always were, but desperate in some way. In those wide, severe chocolate orbs, flickered emotions that Rose had only seen in him two times before. 

"Rose, there's no way that I can convince you that I'm him. I am and I'm not. I'm half human; my DNA's all mixed up. I wasn't supposed to happen. Just as you weren't supposed to follow me after I left your flat during our second meeting, I wasn't supposed to be made into flesh. But you followed me and here I am. We keep happening, Rose Tyler; you and me. You didn't trust me when I first regenerated and I can't hold it against you if you don't trust me now, but I promise you that I meant what I said on that beach today."

She felt herself being torn in two. One part, that tiny part of her heart that was reason for her guilt and reluctance, grew and became a formidable adversary against the Doctor's words. Rose knew he would never lie to her and she felt truth in his words and in his grip, yet could not shake the sick feeling within her.

Her lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. She didn't want to listen, but she wanted to hear nothing else. His voice after these past couple of years, speaking of them, was all that she needed. Rose returned the grip on his hands as he moved from the floor to the place beside her on the sofa.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I am so sorry," was the only thing he could say as she turned into him, tears soaking into the skin of his shoulders.

She tried to speak, tried to get out the slightest sound that would indicate a response, but found that her voice would not work. She was left pressed against him, their arms wrapped tightly around each other, crying into his skin and breathing him in. Rose was so unfocused, so wrapped up in her emotions, that she did not feel the silent tear that fell onto her head.

She wept into his skin as he held onto her shaking form, trying to keep her steady. Rose tried desperately to allay the tremors that rippled through her body and slowly calmed her breath enough to find her voice. She did not move from her place against the Doctor's flesh, but instead spoke into it as if his pores would carry her words into his bloodstream.

"Two years, Doctor. Two years and," she stopped for a breath, "I never once stopped loving you. I thought about you every day. I thought of any way to get you back, waited for the end of time and space just to get back to you."

"I know," he whispered into her hair before kissing her head. "And my greatest regret for two years was never finishing that sentence."

Rose moved from the crook of his neck and looked him in the eyes. They were red and glassy with liquid lining them. Seeing the Doctor cry was a rarity, and nothing that Rose wanted to be the cause of. 

He brought a hand to her face and wiped away the remaining beads of liquid that strayed along her cheek. The Doctor cupped her face as she held onto the back of his hand and pushed her face into it. His hand was steady and warm; a reflection of who and what he was to her. He was her touchstone, a place to go to when it all got to be too much. She found that her tremors had subsided entirely and her haphazard breathing had returned to a somewhat normal state.

“But you said them today, yeah?” she muttered, her voice hoarse.

He pressed his forehead to hers gently before nodding. Rose felt his hand move to her jaw and then to her chin. She felt her heart pick up again, this time from anticipation instead of anxiety. The pad of his thumb smoothed over her chin and ran along her bottom lip. Her eyelids lazily drooped shut as his thumb was replaced by his lips. 

The Doctor was kissing her with all the tenderness he could possibly possess. She returned it with a bit more pressure, taking his kiss and breath as her mouth moved along his. Rose felt his grip around her tighten as his lips parted to join hers in the rhythm that she shortly set. It was languid and passionate all at once. Each light movement yielded another and another; with every motion being slightly stronger than the last. Each touch and caress was more provocative than the last. 

When they came up for air, with lips pleasantly numb and minds comfortably sedated, there were no words spoken or comments made. The slightest movement seemed to be the deadliest form of taboo. They simply looked into each other with their foreheads touching and heartbeats thrumming in their ears.

"I suppose I did," he hummed before placing a kiss on her forehead. "You and I have quite the busy day tomorrow. Planting the TARDIS is no easy feat. Especially this time around. It would have taken centuries if Donna hadn't suggested modifying the dimension stabilizer. The brilliance of a Time Lord mind." The Doctor was all cheer and smiles then as Rose scoffed in response to his explanation. 

"Guess we should get some sleep, then," declared Rose softly as her hands fell away from the Doctor's form and his from hers. She got up from her place on the sofa and studied the aftermath of their emotional and esoteric moment. 

His skin was flushed and his neck was smudged black from her makeup. An awkward smirk spread across her lips as she offered him a hand up. He looked up at her with a confused expression.

"First, we should get you washed up. I kind of..." 

"Oh, that? It's nothing, Rose. I'll take care of that later. I have some thinking to do. Cutting open a chunk of the TARDIS is not going to be the easiest thing I've ever done. I've got to come up with a method of doing so in the safest way before I can even consider sleep," he commented as he took her hand, gave it a tender squeeze then began shuffling about the room. 

"My mind is reeling with ideas. It's filled to the brim with ways I can open it up and even expand on Donna's theory. Yes, I can speed up the growth rate by fifty-nine, but if I cross-circuit the vortex stimulator and radiation feedback exchange then rewire the polarity dampeners...Yes! Brilliant! Rose, there's a chance we can be climbing Kilimanjaro before any human being ever set foot on its summit in just four months! That's about the same time it took old Michelangelo to teach me how to sculpt. Oh, this is marvelous. Absolutely brilliant! I am so clever!" 

Rose shook her head as she watched him. He prattled on as he took to walking to and fro in the spot directly in front of the television. She had to bite her lip in an attempt to subdue the grin that seemed fixed on her face. The Doctor was in her flat, speaking of things she couldn't even begin to understand yet she felt absurdly far away from confused. She felt right. The Doctor going on about the TARDIS and travel and equations that were far beyond any human's comprehension. 

"...shift in the magnetic field. Oi! That's right! I can do that without blowing a hole in the universe," he continued as he strayed from his pattern. He moved over to Rose and took her in one his comfortable, perfect hugs. "I'll try not to think too loud whilst your sleeping." The Doctor's promise made her arms wrap themselves tightly around him. "It's been far too long since I've been able to wish you a goodnight."

"You can think in there if you want. I've managed to sleep through a...what was it? A neutron storm? Yeah, I've slept through that on the TARDIS. I think I can manage a half alien nutter going on about his time-travelling machine," asserted Rose with an affectionately playful tone.

This was the first time Rose had ever invited the Doctor to her bedroom. She was not expecting any passionate fit to unravel itself within the confinement of the four walls of her bedroom. Rose could tell, from the way his grip around her tightened, that he accepted her offer and his mind was far from the arcane subject of sex.

For Rose, this lack of immediate interest was in no way insulting. She did not feel the physical need for the Doctor, not yet anyhow. To her, tonight was a time to mend and to learn how to breathe again. Sometimes, it's better to run before learning to walk, but Rose felt that was not the case. She was only beginning to learn how to exist in this rudimentary life with this new yet familiar man. She found herself in sporadic bursts instead of a continuous stream as he held to her, and she was grateful. Had anything more happened, Rose was certain that she would not have been capable of withstanding the pressure. 

The high emotions of the day had taken everything out of her, both mentally and physically. His arms around her and the redolence of his skin numbed her mind and conciliated her soul. The Doctor became the only thing in existence for Rose as they stood with bodies touching. The world around her became dull and unworthy of her attention as his hand smoothed over head and his deep yet quiet breath rustled her hair.

Rose was slipping into a state of comfort that she had not felt since her time on the TARDIS. Her feet felt heavy but her heart felt light as she and the Doctor separated. His hands remained loosely on her waist as her arms rested on his shoulders. For a moment she found it all very secondary school and allowed her hands to drop. He followed, but their fingers found each other and curled together.

"Off to bed, then. Shall we?" He flashed her a smile that was enough to compete with the Sun and she found herself nodding with an eagerness comparable to any child on Christmas morn.

She looked down and saw the mark she left on his skin from her tears. Her lips bunched as she raised her brow expectantly.

"Well, after I get this cleaned up. You go ahead. I'll be right behind you," assured the Doctor quickly and slowly untangled his fingers from Rose's. 

"You better," she retorted lightly. Rose stole a brief kiss before she walked back to the bedroom, leaving the Doctor standing in the middle of the living room with a daft expression on his face. 

He remained there for a few moments, savoring what her lips felt like on his own, how her pulse beat furiously, how hot her cheeks had been against his face and neck, and how her hands felt against his bare skin. The Doctor felt, although half human and newly formed, alive. He was different in a way, he knew. There was DNA in his body that did not belong to him. Donna, the woman who stumbled upon him at one of his darkest hours, brought him to life. 

He knew of her fate without bearing witness to it. A human with a Time Lord mind was different than a half human with a Time Lord mind. She would burn up just as Rose almost had on Satellite 5. The knowledge of time and space was too much for anyone not born of Gallifrey. Donna Noble's memory would be suppressed. She would have no recollection of Time Lords or Daleks or Cybermen or any of the adventures they shared. His full-blooded counterpart would be left with no one. He would be back to the lonely life the last of the Time Lords led.

And that was dangerous. Without any stabilizing element, without someone to tell him that he was taking things too far, doing too much, he was a time bomb. As much as he wished that could help himself in some way, the Doctor knew that he was absolutely powerless. The Void separated himself from doing anything to be of service. Yet, something within him held the conviction that his doppelganger would find others eventually and he would move forward. With that thought, the Doctor made his way to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror.

He promptly saw the marks Rose left on him. The thought to leave them there, to hold a sample of her soul, came to him for just a fraction of a second. Then, the water was on and a cloth was pressed to his shoulder. He did not need reminders or bits and pieces to know that Rose was near. All he had to do was listen to the air moving through her lungs when he was close. She was alive in a shared space, tangible and beautiful. 

He shut the water off and dried himself. The Doctor could hear her humming away in the bedroom and thought better of intruding. Instead, he propped himself against the doorway and listened.

 

Rose was faced with a conflict the moment she stepped into her bedroom. What was she going to wear to bed? It had been some time since she had considered putting on proper jimjams. The water in the next room began to run and Rose figured that she had only a few moments to decide what she was to wear.

In haste, she grabbed a pair of shorts and a camisole and changed before the tap turned off. Rose crawled under the duvet and blankets and fidgeted about, unsure of what she should be doing. There was a book that had been resting on her nightstand long enough to collect dust. Ever since she bought it, the book had remained closed off from her mind. The novel itself was some daft motif for something that she never thought she would get back. It was something more tangible, something that would last after her memory began to fade with age.

Rose reached out and grabbed the book, sending bits of dust streaming into the air around it. She held it in her hands, turned it over, brushed the thin layer of dead skin and dirt from its coat, and read over the title. A flare of embarrassment arose in the pit of stomach, but she carried on. Opening the book, reading past the short opening credits to a poem just before the dedications. She read it and began to hum a soft, nonsensical tune.  
As she approached the end of the poem, Rose looked up and saw the Doctor in the doorway, a soft smile on his face, a gentle spark in his eyes. 

"'Take down the love letters from the bookshelf / the photographs, the desperate notes / peel your own image from the mirror. / Sit. Feast on your life,'" uttered the Doctor as if he was reading it from the page. His soft smile grew as he moved from the door and into the bedroom. 

"I must admit, the novel was all right. Though, it's a bit rubbish when it comes to the facts. Being stressed is definitely a reason to travel, but just imagine being anxiety-ridden on your wedding day. Watching the love of your life, the most beautiful woman in the entire universe, walking up the aisle to you. Most of the eyes are on her, but there's always that one pair of eyes on you that strikes you to your very center. The pair staring at you is the pair that has looked into your soul so many times before, but somehow the look is different. It's esoteric and intimate, a silent promise before a word is ever spoken. You shake and tremble and feel an absurd amount of pressure.

"Then, just as she's about to reach for your hands, _poof!_ You disappear in front of everyone," he marveled with his voice sounding so far off. His dark eyes were penetrating her, staring into her and further still. "Not saying that happens. Just pointing out that it would be an inconvenience to just jump through time with virtually no forewarning. People usually don't want to miss their own wedding." Just as quickly as his entrancing charm had been in full-swing, it quieted to just his features as he plopped himself on the bed.

Rose felt the Doctor's gaze trained on her as she closed the book and set it back on the stand. The way she closed it and quickly turned from it held a certain finality to it. With that idea shot to hell, with more than small feelings of embarrassment, Rose curled further under the covers and snuggled closer to the Doctor.

He crawled under the sheets and she rested her head on his chest. It was still strange only hearing one heart in his chest, knowing that one day it would eventually cease to beat altogether. His arm wrapped around her form and held her in place. Rose felt herself falling into that contradictory state of heavy weightlessness as his chest expanded and contracted with every breath. Her hand grabbed his free one and held it as she slowly felt herself slipping away from reality. Then, a thought struck her and she shifted uncomfortably at the weight associated with the question.

"If this universe is the similar in lots of ways...if certain events still happened as they were meant to happen with your interference...wouldn't there have to be another Time Lord out there?"

There was a short pause from the Doctor, his chest ceased to rise as he thought on the question. "No. Even though I'm half human, I would still be able to feel the other Time Lords. I'd be able to feel Gallifrey. In this universe both Time Lords and Daleks must have been destroyed during the Time War."

"And if not, we'll find 'em," Rose murmured quietly as her vision blurred and eyes fell shut. She thought she heard a soft utterance of agreement before drifting off, but she didn't have energy to give it any amount of real thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes. The wonderful inquiry of the possibility of other Time Lords. Which is, in all actuality, a brilliant question. Guess you'll just have to wait and see!  
> I can feel myself falling into the characters a bit more, especially the Doctor's speech patterns. I hope you're enjoying it because I'm having a blast writing it. Leave comments telling me you hate if that's the case--or, hell, even if you love it.
> 
> Au revoir~


	3. Strangeness & Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is finally coming to terms with her inner turmoil. She and the Doctor plant the TARDIS in the soil of a foreign universe and take a mental trip down memory lane exploring each and every dark corridor they can find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a concept in another fic about Queen Victoria's misfortune contributing to the fall of government. So, I can't take credit for that. Also, this chapter is where I change the rating from Teen+ to Mature. (And for reasons that will make me change it to "Explicit" next chapter.) Sorry for taking so long~!

Rose woke with a start when she heard a loud declaration of ' _Oh isn’t that wizard?!_ ' coming from her kitchen. The sunlight was pouring in the wall length windows she had in her bedroom and she turned quickly away from the light. She was reluctant to get out of bed, but her intuition was telling her that it would be best if she went out to see what the problem was. With her bedhead in full swing, Rose clambered out of her bed and shuffled tiredly but quickly into the kitchen.

"What the bloody hell is going on out here?" she demanded in a voice still sore from sleep. She observed her surroundings as her fogged eyes cleared. There was a carton of eggs with two missing from it, toast that was just right, eggs cooking in the pan as they should have been, and a half naked Doctor digging coffee grinds out of her coffee machine.

"Good morning!" announced the Doctor as he turned to her. "Hope I didn't wake you, though I have a feeling I did. Sorry about that. Too much coffee in the machine is never a good thing. Having it too strong can turn a person's stomach inside out. I watched it happen once, and blimey was it a mess…"

A lazy smile spread across Rose's lips as she listened to him explain himself. It was then that she decided she had gone far too long without the daft ramblings of this madman with his blue police box and carefully constructed bed hair. She also took notice that his hair was not in the slightest constructed, but genuinely messy and sticking out every which way. Rose tucked away the flush that threatened her cheeks and looked away from the Doctor.

"You were making me breakfast?" Rose asked in a small voice. She stepped closer to the Doctor as he continued to scoop coffee from the filter. 

"Uh, yeah. Well, that was the general idea. I thought I'd cook you up some toast and eggs with a side of coffee and have it all ready before you considered waking up." The Doctor fired off his explanation in his rapid fashion and closed the filter slot with a blatant expression of success. "Things went almost according to plan. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," she began, not wanting to explain that it was the best night of sleep she had had in years. "Great, actually. How about you?"

"Me? I slept longer than usual. I think it was...a quarter after five when I woke up," came his response as he slipped two perfectly cooked eggs onto a plate. He spread a thin layer of raspberry-orange marmalade on each slice of toast, cut them, and placed them on the plate as well. The Doctor turned to Rose and held the plate out for her with a smile that could thaw the Arctic.

There was a sort of nostalgia when it came to the Doctor cooking for her. He hadn't exactly done so on the TARDIS, but he definitely made an effort to make sure that she was properly fed before they decided to hop through time. There was a machine that cooked whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. He would wait for her to finish, having already eaten breakfast long before she woke up. Then they would try not to throw it up as the TARDIS groaned and tumbled through the Time Vortex.

She eyed the clock as she took the plate and read that it was forty after nine. Nearly five hours had passed and he was still dressed in her sweats, still had his natural bed hair, and still had not showered. A question presented itself in Rose's mind and she couldn't stop herself before asking it. "What exactly did you do in the almost five hours between then and now?"

"Well, I stayed in bed with you until 7:00. Then, I got up and did what I had to do to the TARDIS piece with what basic tools were around. Got on the internet to read up on what I could on the history of Pete's World. And just now I made you breakfast," proclaimed the Doctor. “Not bad for less than three hours to work with, ay?”

"Find anything interesting?" Rose questioned plainly as she took a bite of her eggs. Never before had she thought about the Doctor cooking, but she was thinking about it now, and heavily. Eggs weren't her usual first choice, but for only being eggs, the Doctor had turned them into something worth wanting. 

"Of course. This world's history is something of a marvel. Do you know the reason Great Britain has a president instead of a queen?" His eyes rested on her as they sat at her small kitchen table. 

"No idea," she admitted with unabashed ignorance. Rose had been too focused on trying to get back to the other universe to read into this one’s history.

"Because we weren't there to stop Queen Victoria from being bitten. She managed to get out, but not before contracting the full effects of the werewolf bite. The website I was on claimed that she transformed one night after tea. Her guards, not knowing what to do, called for help. By the time help arrived Her Majesty was nowhere to be found and the guards were dead or dying. One managed to get out, 'Beware the big bad wolf,' before bleeding out. The royal family was then removed from the throne out of fear for the nation's safety and reputation. The Empire had a falling out of sorts after that. With no steady form of government, there were people running mad in the street, claiming that they could rebuild England.

"Finally, a man by the name of Chester Peterson came along with a few other good men and women. They had a somewhat stable idea of what the government should be like and how it should be guided. Little by little, the people came to believe that was how they wanted to be ruled. A mixture of capitalism and socialism and everyone working together to try and make it work. Naturally, it became corrupt over time and ignored by many. The rest is history."

Rose listened as he rattled off the alternate ending to the story she and the Doctor once helped write. Hearing the phrase 'bad wolf' sent an unpleasant chill down her spine and turned her stomach so much that she lost her appetite. She once used those words to create herself, but now they haunted her like an entity in the corner of her eye that disappeared when she tried to look at it.

There was more than what he was telling her, but she didn't want to hear it, not yet. She was certain that he wasn't ready to share it, either--for which she was more than grateful. Rose knew that this world still had in its history two world wars, a worldwide economic depression, and more than its fair share of madmen trying to rule it. Much of history happened as it was supposed to, just with a changed element here or there and that was what, Rose figured, troubled the Doctor.

"We're going to have to buy you some proper clothes after we get back from Cadnam," Rose pointed out in hopes of changing the subject. 

"We better hurry, then," he said with a wide grin. She could see the comment about the ravishing suits in his eyes, but knew he thought better of saying anything. 

Rose gathered her plate, emptied the remaining food off it, and placed it in the dishwasher. "I'm going to have a shower. I wish I could say that I was lucky enough to have a flat with two baths. There was never a need for a second," she said impassively before walking off.

She left the Doctor in the kitchen with his mind still processing what she had inadvertently divulged. In the two years they had been apart there had been no one else in her life. She had always had Mickey after what happened at Bad Wolf Bay, but both of them knew that any attempt at a relationship would amount to moot. They became two different people with different lives and different interests. He had slept over and tried to help her the best he could in the beginning, but every discussion dissolved into silence or shouting. Mickey had accepted the role of friend but refused to be second best to the Doctor, thus ending any possibility for a romantic relationship with Rose Tyler.

He was in the shower, the water rushing over him. It was the first time he felt water on this half-human body. For the most part, it felt as water usually did, wet and at first terribly uncomfortable. However, the body's temperature tolerance was significantly lower than that of any of his Time Lord bodies. The cold was frigid and the hot was scorching. He fought with it until it was just the right temperature.

The Doctor let himself relax in the water. He rolled his shoulders and ran his hands through his hair to keep it from disrupting the continuous liquid that was falling on his face. After a few minutes, the Doctor decided it was finally time to wash himself with Rose's fruity smelling soaps, which she had apologized for in advance. 

He opened her shampoo container and was immediately struck by the aroma of her hair. The Doctor felt a stir in his abdomen as he recalled the way she was tucked against him the night before, her hair all around him and the only thing that immediately registered in his sense of smell. He ignored the unforeseen heat that collected in his abdomen as he washed his hair with her shampoo and conditioner and then his body with her body-wash. The scent of her skin swathed him in memories of their time together. Those long, passionate nights aboard TARDIS crept into his mind and planted themselves securely in his subconscious. Heat turned in his abdomen as the memories accumulated. The Doctor felt himself twitch and he fought the urges that forced themselves to the surface of his form.

He knew that they were not the most germane of thoughts and he tried to think of everything that could possibly take his mind off the entrancing redolence of Rose Tyler’s skin. He thought of the loss of her but the reclamation of her proved a much stronger force and he was left with a hunger that rivaled that which appeared in his memories. The Doctor refused to look upon himself. He knew what he would find and wanted nothing of it. Then, just as he thought himself beyond the point of return, an incaution stole the delicious heat from his loins, settled his pained, aching body, and replaced it with the burn of embarrassment. 

" _Rose!_ " The Doctor's call echoed throughout Rose's flat. Confusion had no time to settle itself in Rose. She was up in a flash and running to the bathroom, all the while imagining impossible scenarios that were far from impossible with the company she was now in. Rose thought of everything from Raxacoricofallapatorians to Daleks invading her flat.

Slowly, she eased the door open and stepped inside. Her senses immediately went into overdrive as a quick burst of adrenaline coursed through her body. She looked around the room quickly and assessed her surroundings.

The first thing that was noted was the lack of water running. The next was his form, slender and distorted by the glass of the shower door. She watched as he slid the door open a crack and poked his still dripping wet head out of it. She noticed that only his head was near the door and everything from the neck down was kept awkwardly away from it. Rose felt her anxiety dissipate as she saw the flush on his cheeks. She took another quick look around the room and deduced what he was going to say as he said it. 

"I forgot a towel," he uttered, his eyes desperate and ashamed by the small indiscretion.

Rose made no attempt to bite back the smirk that spread across her features as she made her way to the closet on the other side of the bathroom. A chuckle erupted from her as she grabbed a towel and made her way back to him.

"It's rude to laugh at the misfortune of others," said the Doctor with a pout as he took the towel from her. He closed the door for a short moment to wrap the towel around his waist before emerging from the shower. He stood in front of Rose, pout still fixed neatly in place, but his eyes were playful and strangely intense. 

"A nine hundred year old Time Lord forgets a towel on his first official day of life in another universe. I think it's okay to chuckle a bit," she jested lightly.

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to retort then closed it. Rose watched with amused eyes as he pursed his lips and furrowed his brow at her comment. She felt her lips itching for a kiss, her body telling her to move in and press herself and steal his breath. The temptation boiled as she tried placing the underlying expression in his gaze.

It was a slow burning. The harbored intensity in his eyes was steady yet aflame. Rose felt a familiarity in the Doctor's now smooth facial features. The fire that burned behind amber eyes, masked by the exuberance of his partly boyish nature, was devastating and dangerous. The arcane subject that Rose had pushed from her mind the night before was extant in a form of its own within his eyes.

"I should let you get dressed," said Rose abruptly before she had too much time to think of she saw in the Doctor's eyes. She did not wish to dwell on something that could lead somewhere she was not yet mentally ready to tread. "Pop out when you're ready and we'll go, yeah?"

"Sounds fine by me," replied the Doctor with a grin.

Rose made her way back to the sitting room, allowing the Doctor privacy whilst dressing and fixing up his hair. She sat down with her now cool cup of coffee and turned on the television as a way to distract herself from her thoughts. She flicked through the channels until a programme that seemed apropos came across the screen. 

She forced herself to pay attention to the narrator as he rambled on about space. Soon after, Rose started to note the inaccuracies of what he was saying. The man on the TV spoke of black holes, how nothing could escape them, and how even being around one was impossible. Rose recalled the time she and the Doctor faced one of the most terrifying adversaries they had ever been put up against. It was the third time she felt that she was going to lose the Doctor for good. But he pulled through and saved them. After they returned what was left of the exploration team, Rose and the Doctor celebrated their continuity in their own way. The more Rose thought of the details, the less significant the show became. 

A snicker cropped up behind her that pulled Rose from her thoughts. She turned to see the Doctor, snug suit and done-up hair, moving to stand beside her. Rose bit the inside of her lip in an attempt to dissolve the combination of past and present. 

"Think they know the idea of nightmares is looming around one of them?" he asked with a smirk across his face. "I found an unused toothbrush in your closet. I hope you don't mind me using it."

Rose shook her head as she turned off the television. She finished off her coffee and set the mug on the counter. The last of her thoughts refused to leave and remained as a small urge in the back of her mind as she slipped her hand into the Doctor's. "Do you have the piece of the TARDIS?"

After he gave his response, she grabbed her keys and bag from the island and started for the door, Doctor in tow. She heard him start to ramble to himself about the TARDIS and smiled to herself.

The two made their way to the lift then to Rose's vehicle. Their hands came apart as he moved to the passenger side of the car. Rose looked to the Doctor after they situated themselves. "Four months until I won't be needing this thing. I almost got used to a normal life," she said as she tapped her hand on the steering wheel.

"Good thing you didn't then, ay? Won't be needing rent money, food, electricity bills, health insurance, taxes. I never understood the point of taxes. I understand them in general, the concept and whatnot, but I haven't had to pay them in such a long time that I'm not even sure I would remember how much of what goes here and what goes there. In four months’ time, all you'll need is you and some clothing. I'm going to need a new sonic screwdriver. Could always build one, though I'm not sure how reliable it would be." The Doctor rambled on as he tried to make himself comfortable in the vehicle.

Rose could tell that he was trying his hardest not to ask her to speed up. Years in the TARDIS jumping through time and space in a moment's passing had spoiled him. Cars were something that he would have to adjust to. She made a turn onto the motorway as he crossed his legs and spoke again.

"Just to warn you, I'm going to have to speak in Gallifreyan. It's not some seedling that you just plant and pray that it grows. You might think it sounds strange, but there's a ritual. It needs exposure to starlight and shade in equal measure. Earth's sun doesn't burn as bright nor as hot as the Gallifreyan sun did, but if I can speak to this little beastie in just the right tone, she'll grow into a healthy TARDIS and we can be off. This chunk won't translate languages, so don't be alarmed when you don't understand what I'm saying."

Rose had an entire monologue prepared on reasons why the Doctor speaking in another language was an extremely familiar feeling and how she wouldn't be bothered in the slightest. Instead, she turned to him for a moment nodded. "All right. So long as you aren't sacrificing anything whilst planting it or anything like that, I think we'll be okay."

"Well," he began with histrionic severity. The Doctor smiled at Rose, took her free hand with his and their fingers locked together loosely. 

Silence consumed miles of asphalt and pleasant weather. It swept along the vehicle as it synthesized with the air. It devoured the seconds that ticked by and the minutes that passed through. The silence was unwonted and caused both the Doctor and Rose Tyler to feel strangely out of place. And he couldn't stand another moment of it.

"Do you remember the Face of Boe?" he asked abruptly.

"Yeah. He was at the end of the Earth and on New Earth," replied Rose easily. Both were clearly pleased that the silence was uplifted. "Funny how he was at both the places you first took me in each body. Do you think we'll run into him again in this universe?"

"If we do, then there's trouble. That would mean that there's another me in this universe and another you, which already know isn't true. At least not now."

"What do you mean another me? How does the Face of Boe tie into me?" She looked confusedly at him from the corner of her eye.

"Because, if the Face of Boe exists, then you were there to bring him back from the dead on Satellite Five," said the Doctor.

"Captain Jack is the Face of Boe?" exclaimed Rose after a beat, clearly astonished by the revelation. 

The Doctor let out a soft chuckle and nodded. "Yep, though he doesn't know it yet. Had I not been there when he died, I would have assumed that he was going to live forever, which would have been impossible by universal law."

“That’s why you told me to leave him when he was shot by the Dalek.” Rose couldn't rid herself of the smile that had planted itself firmly on her features. She was more amused by his frustration with Jack Harkness than she was by the fact he was nearly immortal because of her. His hand left hers and Rose watched as he ran it unthinkingly through his manic hair. 

"The turn-off should be right up here," he noted plainly as they drove through what appeared to be the middle of nowhere.

She pulled the car over when he was satisfied with the location and together they got out. Rose grabbed the shovel from the trunk of her car before they made their way through a small strip of green and into the wood. They traveled deeper and deeper into the abundance of trees and before Rose had time to process it, the noise of the cars was indistinguishable from that of the birds. She followed him as he pulled out the chunk of TARDIS and as he examined the soft earth beneath his feet. 

"What do you think?" asked the Doctor as he turned around to face her. He set the piece of the soon-to-be spaceship gently on the ground. "I think this is the perfect spot for the TARDIS to grow. Quiet, secluded, no one to disturb her as she grows."

Rose nodded her response as she moved toward him with the spade extended for him to start digging. The closer she got to him, the more she realized that his scent was still being carried on the wind. The clothes he had worn the day prior looked freshly pressed and fitted to his exact measurements. In a way, she didn't want him to be the one doing the digging. After all, they were going to suit shopping once the TARDIS was in the ground. 

Then his hands were pulling her in against him, his front to her back. She felt her heart pick up, equal parts confusion and anticipation, as he wrapped his hands around her and grabbed the spade. Logic quickly worked out what he was doing and she settled back into her skin. However, she could not entirely get her heart to stop pounding hard in her chest as he held himself snug against her with his breath softly penetrating the curtain of her hair and onto her skin and his aura captivating her senses.

"Like I said before, this is our TARDIS. I believe it's only fair that we both break the soil. A Gallifreyan relic growing anew in the terra firma of Earth. Rose Tyler, we're making history," murmured the Doctor delightedly before kissing the back of her head. 

She hadn't the time to respond properly for they were already moving awkwardly to break the earth beneath them and impregnate the soil with something extraterrestrial. The Doctor took the shovel after the first bit of ground was displaced and gave Rose the space to move out of the way. She watched as the earth piled up beside the hole. He dug deeper and deeper into the ground before he decided that he approved of the hole's depth. 

The Doctor lifted the piece of the TARDIS from the ground and spoke to it with such intimacy and knowledge. Rose could not place the language, but knew it to be Gallifreyan. She had thought of what it would sound like, the language of the Time Lords, but never had she imagined it possessing such resonating strength. It was ancient and contemporary synchronously, vibrating with new life and remembrances of the archaic. For the first time, Rose Tyler heard the language of the Time Lords. She heard a piece of the Doctor's home world within the words that spun around his tongue and clung tightly to the only other piece of home they still had. 

"Rose," came the Doctor's voice. He was speaking softly and kept his eyes on the artifact. "If there's anything you want on this TARDIS, anything you want it to know of the old universe before it comes to know the history of this one, I want you to come here and take hold of it. It knows me better than anyone. But I'm not its only pilot now. I can do a general transfer of information or very specific moments. It needs your memories as well."

Rose moved to the Doctor and stood before him. She took the TARDIS chunk from him and met his gaze. "How are you going to transfer the information if you're half-human?"

The Doctor flashed her a crooked smile and rested his hands on the sides of her face. "I'm going to need you to focus on whatever it is that you want the TARDIS to know about you. I'll translate it after I've formed a psychic link between us. Still half-Time Lord." He gave her a wink before he focused himself. 

"You're going to see inside my head?" Rose asked nervously. There were things on her mind that she wasn't entirely sure that she wanted the Doctor to see just yet. The emotions she so deeply felt would be brought to the surface and he would know what was running through her thoughts. 

"Anything you don't want the TARDIS or me to know, just try not to think about it or imagine yourself locking it away."

Rose held the Doctor's steady gaze for a heartbeat then shut her eyes. She traveled back in her mind and felt him traveling with her. His presence was everywhere within her head and she showed him events that he would have never known. Rose showed him her life from her eyes, in her thoughts, and in her dreams. He stepped through the corridors of her childhood and stared briefly into the chasm of her adolescence, her mind shutting down when she felt him looking too far into the darkness. She knew what came next and warmth flourished within her. 

_‘Run.’_

Her mind flashed with images of them together, his former self, running away from a living plastic version of Mickey. She felt herself running into the TARDIS for the first time and recalled the consternation and fear she experienced. She recollected upon every adventure. The end of planet Earth, meeting Charles Dickens, fending off aliens and fighting Daleks--all of it came to her in a rush. The pain she felt when he sent her back to Earth seeped through before Rose could block it off and she felt an apology ripple through her mind, but she continued. 

She recalled the Time Vortex scorching every atom in her body as she crushed the Daleks into nothingness. He moved to her in her memory, his lips pressing to hers as he stole the soul of the TARDIS from her mind. After Rose touched on his regeneration and the recruitment and loss of Mickey, she paused.

Rose was unsure of whether or not she should include an extremely prominent memory. It was one that she thought of during the two years she was completely alone and without his touch or voice to occupy her. It was the memory that crept into her mind during the cold and desolate nights that made her soul and body ache. It was pervading heat, glorious possession, and unremitting euphoria. The feeling of his body pressed against her, holding her, ubiquitous and entrancing as their bodies and souls coalesced and synthesized into a singular entity and its entirety plagued her mind. It was the first time they made love.

She opened her eyes and saw that he was steadily looking at her features as if he knew what she was thinking of. The fire that had been present in his gaze earlier had returned and she felt the impression of the memory from his mind push her own along. She blinked and saw herself in the faint light of the TARDIS’s nighttime simulation setting. Then she saw him as she had seen him that night, her own memory overlaying his and creating a completely new scene. 

It was gone as quickly as it came and Rose was left with her eyes shut and mind continuing to race through the rest of her memories. With the new understanding that she forged with this half-human Doctor, Rose included everything from that point on. She included their first and last time together, the emotional hell she went through, her messages to Donna, the building of the dimension cannon—everything that she thought the Doctor and the TARDIS should know.

Once her mind had been thoroughly uploaded into the bit of TARDIS, the Doctor released his connection with Rose and took the seedling from her grasp. He said not a word of what was shared between them as she stepped back and allowed him the space to plant and cover the TARDIS in the soil. She listened as the Gallifreyan tongue whispered through the trees when the Doctor gave his final remarks to the now planted TARDIS chunk. It was still an impossible language to her, but she thought it amazing.

“I’ve never heard Gallifreyan before,” said Rose as she took the cleaner of his two hands. “It’s beautiful.”

The Doctor smiled a smile that reached his eyes, crinkling them at the corners. Yet, Rose could tell that it was a sad one. “It’s been dead for centuries now. Surviving only in myself and the TARDIS. The ancient tongue of an extinct race.” 

They walked slowly back to the car, their bodies a bit closer and hands a bit more secure in their grip. Rose couldn’t shake the feeling that had arisen from the telepathic connection the Doctor had made. The same thought at the same time of the same two people in the throes of the same passion…she could almost feel his sultry breath coming out in puffs against her neck. She never knew that memories could be that impressionable but held no objections to the new discovery.

Silence filled the vehicle the entire way to the clothing shops and was only broken when he asked Rose how she thought he looked. In truth, nearly everything he picked out fit perfectly and made his bottom look fantastic and she told him what she thought when he asked. On the way back from the shops, however, the Doctor talked enough for the both of them.

“I always love a new suit, especially when it’s right on the first go. No messing about trying to make this shorter or that tighter. If clothing needs fitted or fixed, then so be it, but I’d rather get the suit and go home. Now, jimjams on the other hand, are—“

He spoke of clothing he wore throughout the centuries, the failed fashions and the questionable décor. Rose simply listened as he rambled on and found herself laughing as he explained that he bumped into himself…the one that wore celery as a decoration on his jacket. 

“Even if the paradox distorted my—his—age, I felt like I was looking into a mirror. He was brilliant, that one. Well, we’re all brilliant,” he flashed her a smile as he spoke. “Then a _Titanic_ replica crashed into the TARDIS and I spent all of Christmas fighting service angels whilst keeping the ship from crashing into Buckingham Palace.”

“Sounds like just another day,” replied Rose as they came to a stop outside their building. They carried in his clothing within one trip, Rose vehemently refusing to make a second as she tucked a shoebox under her arm, and threw all of his clothing, even what was to be dry-cleaned into the laundry room.

He made tea as she mindlessly flicked through the television channels. Her thoughts were on earlier. Every thought was in some way related to the memory of those timeless moments in the TARDIS, and those in the past and future. The less she wanted to think of it, the stronger the sensation became and she knew it was to be the topic of discussion sooner or later. 

‘ _Better now than never,_ ’ thought Rose as she took the cup he handed to her.

“Earlier today, during the telepathic link,” she began articulately. Rose wanted to choose her words carefully, even though she wasn’t entirely sure where her speech would lead her to. “We shared a memory.”

He raised a brow as he lowered himself to the sofa beside her. She could tell that the conversation was not unanticipated on his end.

“I could almost feel it…like it was happening,” she continued as her stomach began churning. “Why was that? I’ve watched you make links with people before and they’ve never done that.”

The Doctor was silent for a moment and visibly swallowed as if he had something in his throat. “When a shared event is so powerful between two minds, when the memory is so vivid, the telepathic link that is formed delves into the minds involved and extracts every detail remembered,” he paused to take a sip of tea. “Our thought processes registered the exact same thought at precisely the same moment and the floodgates were blown wide open. I blocked off most of the connection from my side for the rest of your transfer, that’s why you didn’t feel the others as severely.”

“I miss it,” Rose uttered quietly. 

And it was true. She did miss it, all of it. Rose missed the way he would bury his head into the crook of her neck and messily capture her lips. She missed the way they held to each other as they rolled in an ocean of sheets and never once accidentally separated. She missed the expertise of his fingers as they would dance along her skin and the way his sultry breath would spread on her body, teasing her flesh wherever it landed. She missed how his hair felt tangled in her grasp as he stole her breath with a kiss. Rose missed him.

But something was holding her back. There was a small voice in the very corner of her mind whispering something so soft that she couldn’t help but strain to listen to it. The voice was a reminder that the real Doctor, the Time Lord with two hearts, was sealed off from her forever, the walls of reality had closed for the last time and she was left with the duplicate. The voice had been silent for the duration of the day, but as the sun set and her mind toiled and hormones flooded her body she was cornered by the incessant whispering.

“But something’s the matter,” noted the Doctor as he shifted closer to Rose, his words echoing her thoughts. His voice was restrained, as if he didn’t want her to hear his concern. 

Rose remained silent. Every part of her was screaming for something else. Part of her mind wanted the Doctor, the proper Doctor, to come marching back through the Void and take her with him wherever he went, while another part wanted to explore the half-human Doctor with everything the Doctor is and ever was. Her body was a battleground between rationale and physical need and she couldn’t think things out clearly. Not here. Not with him so close, with his amber eyes staring straight into her soul. She couldn’t. 

“I need some air,” she said quickly and headed for the door, grabbing her bag and phone on the way out. Rose could feel his eyes on her as she walked away, but she didn’t turn around.

Instead, she walked. She moved down the corridor and took the stairwell instead of the lift. Down sixteen levels and out into the open air and she still couldn’t shake the feeling of him. Two days ago, she would have done anything to feel him near her, to be able to have to hold and talk to and laugh with. Now, he was the focal point of her confusion and distress. It wasn’t his fault, the half-human Doctor. He wasn’t to blame and she was running away from him for the other’s decision. 

As Rose continued down the street, she took note to the setting sun and the fleeting warmth it gave off. In fifteen minutes, the stars would appear beyond the layer of smog. Stars she’s been to in another universe with a man whose hand was chopped off and from it sprouted another man. He was the same man with the same memories, the same body, the same thoughts, the same hair, and the same smell. The man who sprouted from the hand was the regeneration she watched be suppress for the sake of the universe. 

There were three differences that Rose Tyler could spot between the full-blooded Time Lord and the half-human Doctor. The first was obvious: the duplicate had but one heart. He was human in more than one sense. He could still do everything a Time Lord could, but he was restricted in years and lives. He had one heart that would someday give out and he would be lost forever. The second was an obviousness Rose did not want to remember, but forced herself to. The Doctor of the proper universe, the one they both derived from, was unable to say the three words she had wanted desperately to hear. The duplicate whispered them in her ear with all the intimacy and deliberation he possessed. And the third difference was one that Rose did not want to imagine, but knew to be true. The proper Doctor was never coming back.

The reality of this truth penetrated her mind, into her subconscious, through her thoughts and nerve-endings. She felt herself numb, but she carried on. Her feet moved for her while her mind tried to process the revelation.

He left her. She had known this from last night, from the beach. She knew this, but why was it just now sinking in? He hadn’t abandoned her and he hadn’t left her with a spare. It felt that way. She felt like she was handed second best. But she wasn’t. Rose Tyler felt like she knew the Doctor as well as anyone. He never intentionally harmed someone, not without reason, especially not someone he loved. He did it because he loved her, because he knew he couldn’t give her everything she wanted and because he didn’t want to have to lose her to death from any cause. For some reason, trapped in a parallel universe was better than dead.

Rose kept walking, heading in the direction that her legs willed her to travel. She moved through people and traffic as the truth sank in and she slowly came to tolerate it. Acceptance was a long way off, but she could process the information as factual and know that his actions were not unwonted.

The Sun disappeared behind the horizon but left wisps of streaming colors behind. She looked up at them and saw a magnificently bright and distant star desperately struggling to maintain its existence in the London sky.

“Can you smell chips?” 

She jumped at the sound of his voice behind her. Rose turned to see the duplicated Doctor walking up next to her. The man who sprouted from a hand, saved every universe, and then trapped in a parallel universe with the woman he loved. That’s who was walking beside her now and the little voice in the back of her mind was beginning to whisper less.

“Yeah. There’s a pub around the corner. They have amazing chips,” said Rose as she assessed her surroundings for the first time since beginning her walk. They were two miles away from their building. “When did you start following me?”

“About three minutes ago,” he replied honestly. “You didn’t look like you wanted to be disturbed so I stayed quiet.”

“What changed?”

“You looked at the sky,” explained the Doctor with a warm smile.

He moved closer to her and outstretched his hand for her to take. She looked at it for a moment then took it and curled against him. Rose breathed him in as they walked in the direction of the aforementioned pub. The scent of him, masculine yet subtle, calmed her nerves and sated her mind. 

When she had looked into the sky before the Doctor had pulled her from the solitary star’s radiance, Rose made a decision. In a way, she made it yesterday on the beach, in another she made it when their minds had been linked, and in another it was made when she took his hand and walked to the pub. Rose Tyler could not wait for someone who wasn’t coming. She wouldn’t. It would hurt, it already did. However, she had a man called the Doctor who remembered their nights, their days, and all the time in between. In four months, they would be in the TARDIS again. It wouldn’t be as before, it wasn’t that now. It was something entirely different. It was something new. New Doctor, new life. That’s how she had to look at it. The full-blooded Time Lord did not leave her with his biological metacrisis because he didn’t want her, Rose knew that now. It was precisely the opposite.

“About earlier,” Rose began after taking a smooth sip of her drink. “I didn’t mean to run out like that. It’s just…”

The Doctor wrapped his hands around his glass and stared into the honey golden colored liquid. He looked to Rose, his eyes full of interest and understanding simultaneously. He wanted her to continue, but had a solidified idea as to what she was going to say. He needed to hear certain words come from her voice, but Rose wasn’t sure what was to come of those words.

“I thought I’d be back on the TARDIS right now with this madman in a blue police box from the 1960s. I knew it would be dangerous, trying to see him again and trying to get back. But every universe was coming to its end and only he could stop it. I saw him for the first time in two years two nights ago and my first instinct was to run to him, to help him save the world as we’ve always done. Then he got shot by a Dalek and forced his regeneration energy into a hand that fell to the Earth from a spaceship on Christmas day. Pretty resilient hand, if you ask me.

“I watched as the universe started to destroy itself, until the Dalek leader decided that enough was enough. I learnt of the Doctor’s past, of the darkest parts of it. The Time War. He referenced it at times and told me of it, but not like this. They thought if I saw into his soul, I would turn away. That if I thought the Doctor, my Doctor, was just a war criminal, I would be afraid and turn from him. I couldn’t do that. I knew him in ways that I can’t put into words. I knew him in ways they never could.

“Then this, uh,” Rose paused and gave a ghost of a smile. “…this madman came out of his blue box and went against his own wishes to save the universe. He broke his own rules by wiping out the Daleks. Then, we were saying our goodbyes. Mickey and the rest had already left, but I wasn’t ready for what came next.

“For the second time in my life, I stood on Bad Wolf Bay with the Doctor. This time, there were two Doctors. One who had no intention of taking me with him and one I had no intention of saying with. Then, I asked a question. It was a simple enough question, just the end to a sentence. One returned my question with another question and the other whispered the answer in my ear. I made my choice then. I didn’t know it, but I did. I chose without thinking. At first, after it happened, I thought I just wanted to hear it said from that voice so badly that I let myself believe that I made the right choice. But I was wrong. I wanted to hear those words in his voice, but I wanted him to say them, mean them, and keep saying them. Just three simple words. ‘I love you.’”

Rose stopped for breath and found that her voice was wavering. She wasn’t crying, but her chest was tight and her stomach was turning over. The Doctor was looking at her with slight surprise, as if he hadn’t anticipated this much.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day, you and me in the TARDIS. That’s why I left. I needed to think,” said Rose before eating a chip.

The Doctor was silent for a long while. Seconds turned into minutes and one pint turned into two before he spoke. “I think I’m done drinking. My tolerance is much lower than I thought it would be,” he began in a partially disgusted voice. He ran a hand through his hair before looking at Rose. “I know this isn’t easy for you. I know you feel like you’re at war with yourself, Rose. I’m right here, just as I’ve always been. Well, except that time when you were sucked into this universe for two years and I couldn’t follow. I know you’re hurt and I know you’re upset with him, but you need to know that I’m still here. I’m the same man who took you to the end of the Earth and then to New Earth. I’m the one who had Mickey press that button for an hour whilst I chatted with you. But I’m also a different man, now. Not because my DNA is spliced with human contaminants, but because I’m here with you right now in a pub, eating chips.”

“I know,” she replied as she took another chip. “And I know that after we’re done eating our chips and having our drinks we’re going to go back to our flat and we’re going to watch some telly…” Rose trailed off as heat came to her cheeks. An idea presented itself to her, a thought that had been in her mind for nearly the entire day. It was one that seemed unthinkable the night before and felt guilty and terrified for thinking earlier. “And, if you want…” Her voice was low, in a tone he was sure to listen in to. “…we could try taking a proper trip down memory lane.”

The Doctor’s features brightened with surprise. His eyebrows were fixed in confused amazement and his mouth was closed but wavered as if he wanted to speak. Then his expression fell into a state of thought, his mind clambering around. Rose smiled as she watched him process what she was suggesting. Finally, it set in and his eyes grew wide. 

“Well…” he began dumbly, “I definitely think it would be worth a try, if you want to, yeah. Why not?” The Doctor’s expression changed to one of scrutiny as he looked over Rose’s features. “But only if you’re absolutely sure you want to. I don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret.”

Rose was quiet for a moment as she thought about what he said. She reviewed their day, the emotional toil, the shared memories, the hungered look in his eyes after his shower, and the Doctor in general. The ache that had surged through her body in slow pulses returned the more she thought about it. The past two years were catching up to her. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! As this is my first Doctor Who fanfiction, I am more than a bit chary on my characterization and how my execution will be perceived by the readers. Feel free to message me or comment with advice or just to tell me you like/hate it!


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